I am really sad this morning. Last night I went to see Titus Andronicus at Miller Outdoor Theater with my friend Jim and two of my friends from Unity Theater. What would have once been a typical and mundane excursion became a reminder of the many things I will miss about Houston. There were a number of people in the cast I know and love and have worked with, as well as a number of people in the audience that I knew as well.
I have a great deal of excitement about my stay in Georgia, and about my ultimate arrival in New York. It also feels so perfectly right to be leaving Houston right now. Still, my heart is breaking about what I will be leaving behind. This is the place where I got sober. Where I have overcome so much fear about myself, and learned to do things anyway. So many friends here and people I never want to see again. Last night at the park I had that sense of looking around and seeing so many people that I knew and some that I have never met and never seen before.
I don’t know. This is very difficult to express.
I got some information in the mail from Koinonia Farm with some more details about what my internship will be like. Most everything I had already discussed with the Executive Director Bren Dubay on my podcast interview with her, but this packet included the daily schedule for interns.
7:45 am Weekdays – Silent meditation/prayer
8:15 am Weekdays – Morning devotions (full chapel service on Wednesdays)
After chapel Weekdays – Daily work assignments and check-in
10:30 am. 3:30 pm, 8:30 pm daily – Koinonia bell rings – pause for prayer and meditation
12:00 pm Monday-Friday – Community meal
12:30 pm Monday-Friday – noontime devotions, joys & concerns, and announcements
4:45 Weekdays – Afternoon meditation/prayer
9:15am Wednesdays & 5:15 pm Thursdays – Community study sessions
9:30 am Saturday – Shuttle to Americus (bank, grocery, library, etc.)
6pm Sunday – Potluck
I wonder what it will be like to have these scheduled prayer/meditation times. In my first year of sobriety I prayed and meditated at least once a day, and it really made a tremendous difference in my attitude….in fact I never wondered then if I needed anti-depressants. That is not to say that anti-depressants are not worthwhile, what I mean more is that for me, taking certain actions habitually tends to prevent depression. I have always been hesitant to talk about my spiritual beliefs, because people tend to shut down, or assume I am talking about some particular God or other. That sort of spoils the purpose of trying to have an awareness of spirituality, doesn’t it?
